Where Loyalties Lie
by Ash135
Summary: M/A, Alec gets sick, forcing him and Max to re-evaluate their relationship... chapter 11
1. Default Chapter

It was a day like any other. A day that looked the same as yesterday, that would involve the same boring routine as yesterday. There was only slight comfort in knowing that, although tomorrow would be another boring day, at least it was a Saturday, and he wouldn't have to go to work. He could remember being young, dreaming about what he would do when he grew up. It was always something different, something exciting. If someone had told him that he was going to be a bike messenger, he wouldn't have believed it. He thought he was destined for something better. Sketchy shrugged. Life wasn't so bad, really. At least he had a job. Many didn't. in fact, he had two jobs, as a bike messenger, and as a freelance writer. And he had good friends. Strange friends, granted, but loyal. Yeah, life could be a lot worse. He turned his bike into the entrance to Jam Pony. Another day, 8 hours before he could go to Crash, drink, and forget about his life for a while.  
  
Alec stood in the shower, letting water run over him. the water had long since gone cold, the hot water cylinder that he had. acquired. wasn't particularly big. He didn't even notice the change in temperature, as he leant his head against the wall. Finally, even the cold water ran out, but he still stood there for several minutes, until he felt his body start to shiver uncontrollably. Alec sighed, and stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel to rub his hair dry. Late again. He would have to apologise to Normal. Great, just great. He quickly threw on some clothes, and brushed his hair back with his fingers as he grabbed his bike and set out for his day job.  
  
"Hey Boo" Cindy greeted Max as she casually crossed the main room at Jam Pony to the lockers. Max nodded a greeting as she opened her locker, searching for something. "Whats up" she asked.  
  
"Not much. Seen your boy this morning?"  
  
"Logan? No, why would I?" Max grabbed a hairbrush and ran it through her hair.  
  
"Not Logan, Alec. Boy don't look good today"  
  
"First, he's not my boy" Max slammed her locker and faced Cindy. "And second, why would I care if he's sick?"  
  
"Come on, girl, Original Cindy know you two play games, but she also know you do care about each other."  
  
Max sighed. "I wouldn't care if he dropped dead today, my only concern would be pullin' the double shifts here to cover his ass. As usual"  
  
"Uh huh" Cindy nodded, smiling. Like that was the truth. She knew better. Max cared about Alec more than she would ever let on. Probably even to herself  
  
"Alec" Max stood in front of his locker, waiting for him to close it. Alec took a deep breath. He didn't feel that great, last thing he wanted to do was show weakness in front of her. "Hey, Max" he spoke, his voice almost steady as he closed the locker and leaned against it, facing her.  
  
"You okay?" she asked him, noting immediately his pale face and slightly bright eyes.  
  
"Concern for me? Max, I'm touched." Alec forced a grin.  
  
"Just concerned that you're not going to be able to pull off the job we're doing tonight"  
  
"No problem" Alec told her. He felt his arm begin to shake slightly, and he clenched his fist, shoving it into his jeans pocket.  
  
"Alec?" she saw only the slight flicker of panic cross his face, but it was enough. Cindy had been right, there was something going on. And it was typical, completely typical, that he wouldn't tell her. If he screwed up the mission tonight, then she would. her train of thought stopped dead as Alec turned to walk away from her.  
  
Alec knew the symptoms, had felt them only twice before, but they were two times that had been firmly rooted in his memory. His arm was shaking, his body tensing up, and the room was starting to spin. He had to get out of here, away from anyone who might see what was going to happen. He pushed himself off the locker, and walked away. Or tried to. He took two steps before the room began to move in front of him, like he was standing on a boat, everything moving towards him, then away, wave after wave, forward and back, side to side. It was too much for his brain, and it partially shut down. The shaking started in his leg, and he collapsed towards the ground, his whole body convulsing.  
  
Max saw him fall, and reacted, blurring forward to grab him before he hit the ground, not caring who might see her. She lowered Alec to the ground, keeping her arms tight around him as his body shook. He gasped as the tremors increased, forcing Max to hold him tighter. She moved one hand to his face, stroking his hair back off his forehead as she prevented his head from jerking with the shaking of his body.  
  
"Max? Alec?" Cindy had been heading to her locker, when she saw them, Max kneeling on the ground, holding Alec in her arms, her head bent next to his, as if she was whispering to him. then she noticed Alec convulsing, the force of the attack shaking not only his whole body, but Max's as well. She quickly knelt beside them. Alec was moaning lightly, and Max whispered something to him, as she pulled him close to her. Cindy quickly glanced around, to see whether anyone else had noticed what was going on. It didn't look like it. "What can I do?" she asked, putting her hand on Alec's shoulder, trying to help Max stop him from shaking too much.  
  
"There's some Tryptophan in my locker. It may help. Can you get it?" "Yeah" Cindy moved quickly, and Max returned her attention to Alec.  
  
"It's okay" she whispered. "It'll end soon. I'm right here. It'll end soon" he groaned, moving closer to her, as if realising that she could stop him from shaking so much. "Max?" he whispered, his mind really not understanding what was going on, but instinctively knowing that she was there.  
  
"I'm right here, Alec. Take it easy"  
  
"God" he gasped, fighting to control the tremors, which simply made them worse. Max ran her fingers lightly through his hair, trying to calm him.  
  
"Here" Cindy returned, kneeling quickly, and handing Max a small bottle. Max took it from her, and opened it with one hand. "Alec, you have to swallow this, okay? Can you do that?"  
  
he didn't reply, but he opened his eyes slowly and looked at her. Max took a pill from the bottle, and put her fingers to his lips. He opened his mouth, and she slipped the pill inside, moving her hands to massage his throat to help him swallow it. Slowly, the convulsions lessened, then finally stopped. "It's okay" she told him, keeping her arms around him as he lay there weakly. He reached up and touched her arm with him hand, trying to thank her without words. Max smiled down at him. "Just relax" she told him.  
  
"How you doin' Boo?" Cindy asked, touching his shoulder lightly. Alec slowly turned his head in her direction. "I'm alright" he told her weakly.  
  
"We need to get him out of here" Max told Cindy. "He needs to rest, and if anyone sees him like this." Cindy nodded. "Take him out the back door. I'll cover for you"  
  
Max nodded her thanks, then turned her attention to Alec. "Can you stand, if I help you?"  
  
"No problem" he whispered. Max helped him to stand, taking as much of his weight as she could. She moved his arm around her shoulder, and wrapped hers around his waist. Alec's head fell down against his chest, but he managed to stay standing. With an anxious look at Cindy, Max led Alec towards the back door.  
  
  
  
Sketchy ducked back behind the lockers as Cindy headed back over to dispatch. His mind raced. What had just happened? It looked like Alec had had some kind of seizure, but he didn't have epilepsy, did he? Surely, he wouldn't have been able to box with a condition like that. Seeing him lying like that on the floor, his whole body shaking, was strange to him, and he had been frozen in shock for a few seconds. Yet it hadn't appeared to faze either Max or OC. It was almost as if. well, as if they had seen it before.  
  
And Max had seemed to know what to do. She had gotten Cindy to get his medication, got him to take it, and it had seemed to work. He looked at the lockers. The medication. Cindy hadn't grabbed it from Alec's locker, but from Max's. It was then he noticed something lying on the ground, and he moved over to see it. A small pill bottle. He had seen Max put it in her pocket as she helped Alec stand, but it must have fallen out. He picked it up and read the label. The name on it, the patients name, was someone he had never heard of. And what was Tryptophan? Why did Max have it?  
  
Somehow, Max got Alec to her apartment, which was closer than his, and to her room. Gratefully, he sank onto her bed, covering his face with his hands in an attempt to stop the room from moving so much. "I've got some milk" Max told him, keeping her voice down, knowing from experience that the convulsions usually led to migraines. "It'll help you. I'll go get it"  
  
"Thanks" Alec gasped, shaking slightly, but from cold more than anything. he curled up on the bed. Max grabbed the milk, then sat down beside him on the bed.  
  
"Drink this" she told him, putting her arm around him to help him sit up. He drank briefly, then handed the bottle back to her.  
  
"Lie down" she told him, and he nodded, moving down onto her bed. Max grabbed a blanket and covered him, trying to keep him warm. She stroked his hair lightly, then stood.  
  
"Max" he whispered. "Please, don't go." She stopped. It was the first time he had ever asked her for anything. she sat back down beside him, touching his leg to let him know she was there. "Sleep" she told him  
  
Sketchy stared at the printout in front of him. he had sent a message to his editor at NWW, asking if he had heard of Tryptophan, and what it did. He had tried doctors at first, but they had told him nothing, saying that if a friend was ill, then it was up to the friend to tell him. His editor had sent him something interesting. There had been several hospital break-ins in recent months, and in most of them the only thing taken was one drug. Tryptophan. His editor was following a lead, a source from one hospital revealing that in the break-in there, the burglars had had barcodes.  
  
Sketchy shook his head, staring at the pill bottle. Harbour Lights Hospital. One of the hospitals reporting a break-in. the name on the prescription, one he didn't know. he did not like being left out of the loop. He wanted to know what was going on.  
  
Max looked up as OC knocked lightly on her door. Gently, she lowered Alec's hand to the bed, and stood, following Cindy out of the room.  
  
"How is he?" Cindy asked. "Sleeping" Max replied, shrugging. At Cindy's gaze, she continued. "It's different for all of us. For me, it was never this bad. Not this strong. He's exhausted"  
  
"But, he'll be okay?" she asked.  
  
"He should be. I don't really know. the Tryptophan seemed to work, and I got him to drink some milk."  
  
A Banging on the door got both their attentions. Sketchy entered the room, not waiting for an invitation. "Shut up" Max hissed at him, glancing towards the bedroom, hoping that he hadn't woken Alec.  
  
"Didn't see you at work this afternoon, Max" Sketchy commented, his voice dull. "Nor Alec. Where's he?"  
  
"Sick" Max replied.  
  
"Yeah, I saw." OC and Max started, looking quickly to Sketchy.  
  
"Yeah" Sketch continued. "His little fit. What is he, epileptic?"  
  
Max glanced at Cindy, then nodded. "Yeah. Look, Sketch, he's kind of really self conscious about it. Embarrassed, you know?"  
  
"Yeah, whatever, Max. I'm not stupid" Sketch began to get annoyed. Before, they were just hiding things from him. now, they were lying.  
  
"But the Tryptophan works well, huh?" he asked, tossing the pill bottle at Max. "You dropped these, thought he might need them."  
  
"Yeah, he will. Thanks." Max shoved the bottle in her pocket quickly.  
  
"Its dangerous to take someone else's prescription" Sketch spoke slowly. " And Cindy grabbed these from YOUR locker, Max. only thing is, the name on them isn't yours either."  
  
Max shrugged, not really knowing what to say.  
  
"You're one of them, aren't you?" he accused, suddenly angry. "And Alec too? You're both transgenics."  
  
"You're insane" Max bluffed. "Smoking a lot of Herbal's secret blend, are you Sketch?"  
  
"No, I'm right" He told her. "There's been a lot of weird shit going on, lately. It all makes sense. You're one of them."  
  
"Sketch, come on."  
  
"Don't lie to me, Max."  
  
She looked over at Cindy, unsure at what to do.  
  
"Yeah, she's one of them." Alec commented, and all three turned to see him leaning in the doorway, his face still pale. "And so am I. So the only question left is, what are you going to do about it? Turn us in?"  
  
"You're Freaks" Sketchy accused, unable to take his eyes off Alec. This was his friend, his drinking companion, and he was a Transgenic freak.  
  
"We didn't ask to be born" Alec said heavily, walking slowly to the couch and sitting down, putting his head in his hands. Cindy grabbed a bottle of milk and offered it to him. Alec drank slowly, then looked back up at Sketch. "Yes, Sketch, we were born. Just like you. And we grew up, like you. Went to school."  
  
"Where you learnt to kill"  
  
"We had no choice!" Alec stood up, his face becoming more pale. "We never even knew there was anything outside of Manticore, not until Max and her friends escaped. And then, they had ways of making us not care."  
  
Max moved across to Alec, pushing him gently so that he sat down again. "They knew how to get inside your mind" he spoke slowly. "Shit, you have no idea what they could do. Yes, they taught us to kill. But I haven't killed anyone since escaping. Nor has Max."  
  
"But you killed while there. How many people were you ordered to assassinate?"  
  
"Too many" Alec closed his eyes, and shook his head. The pain of remembering was clear on his face. Max rested her hand on his knee as a gesture of support. He looked at Max, then back up to Sketch. "So, now you know. what are you going to do?" he asked slowly.  
  
Sketch looked down. He didn't know what to do. He had been fascinated by the transgenic news cycle. And he had believed Eyes Only when he had said that they weren't a threat. So why was it so hard to hear that Alec and Max were part of the transgenics? He looked over at Cindy.  
  
"They're still the same people, still the same Max and Alec we work with, and hang out at Crash with. So they have some weird DNA, you should see some of the freakish people in my family" she commented.  
  
"The way you always beat me at Pool" Sketch spoke to Alec. "That's because you have superhuman powers, right?"  
  
"Nah," Alec laughed briefly, "It's because you suck."  
  
Sketchy looked at him for a long time. "The milk" he nodded at the bottle Alec had been drinking from. "It helps?"  
  
"yeah, a bit" Alec nodded, taking another mouthful of it.  
  
"Want me to go get you some more?" Sketchy offered, smiling slightly.  
  
Alec closed his eyes with relief, and leaned against Max, who quickly put her arm around him. Sketch watched them both with interest. What else were these two keeping from him. 


	2. chapter 2

Alec groaned, opening his eyes slowly. It was dark. He looked around, trying to orient himself. Max's room? he closed his eyes again, trying to remember. Something about Sketchy? Telling him. something. God, why couldn't he think straight? His head was pounding, and he had never had a headache, except for after. Oh Shit! He had gotten the shakes at work. Max had been there, and brought him back here. Damn. She had seen him like that. Weak, and shaking, like a nomaly. He threw the blankets off him and rolled out of bed. he still didn't feel that great, maybe some milk would help. God only knew why it had worked last night, he had never tried it before, but it had seemed to. Last thing he wanted was to appear even more weak in front of Max. He would never live that down. Alec staggered into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to wake up. He felt really bad. Grabbing a bottle of milk, he sculled about half the bottle in one go. It helped, kind of. He leant back against the counter and rolled the bottle across his forehead. It was so hot in here. And his head was still pounding. He sighed, pushing himself off the counter. A wave of dizziness hit him, and he fell, spinning around to try to grab the counter, keep himself up. The bottle slipped out of his hand.  
  
Max heard the sound of broken glass, and jerked awake, moving off the couch to investigate. She saw the door to her room open, at the same time as she heard a groan from the kitchen. Max moved quickly in the direction of the sound. Alec lay sprawled on the ground, lying on his back, but trying to stand up. Max was beside him in an instant, pushing him back down.  
  
"What happened?" she asked him. "Slipped" he muttered, his voice sounding low and rough. "I'm okay" he told her, trying to sit up.  
  
Max pulled back, not sure why, but understanding that he needed to appear strong. He stood slowly, then grabbed the counter, lowering his head as he fought to stay on his feet. Max stood quickly, putting her hands on his hips to keep him steady. "Alec, sit down, okay?" she told him.  
  
he should have pulled away, he should have told her he was fine, gone back to the room before this got any worse. He didn't want anyone to see him like this. but he couldn't move. He didn't think he could take even a step without falling over.  
  
"Alec, come on" her arms moved tighter against him, helping him to turn around.  
  
"I'm fine" he told her, leaning back against the counter again, running a hand through his hair.  
  
Max shook her head. He did not look fine. His eyes were bright, and he was shaking, despite his efforts to control it.  
  
"Alec."  
  
"I'm alright" he told her, feeling his arm start to shake. No, he told himself. Not here. He forced himself to pull away from her, and walk towards the bedroom.  
  
Max watched him go, and shook her head. She did want to help her friend, more than anything, but she understood. In Manticore, you were punished for appearing weak. How could she get him to understand that it was okay in the real world to admit that you were hurt, or in pain?  
  
Alec shut the door, and made it to the bed before he collapsed, his whole body starting to shake. It had never been like this. The seizures he had had in the past had been one-off affairs. This was so much worse. he bit down on his lip as the seizures increased, grabbing the bedpost to try to steady himself. He started breathing harder, pressing his face into the pillow to keep himself from crying out. Finally, he felt it easing.  
  
  
  
two hours later, Alec forced himself out of bed. he staggered into the bathroom and turned the shower on full. Stripping off his clothes, he moved under the spray, letting the freezing water pound against his skin. His body started to go numb from the cold, a relief from the aching in his joints that he had been feeling. He turned the shower off, and grabbed a towel, rubbing his hair briefly before wrapping it around his waist. He dressed quickly, wanting to get out of there before Max and Cindy woke up. Not that he wasn't grateful, but he just wasn't good with females in the morning. Small talk and all that, counting the seconds before he could leave. Not his style. He opened the door and moved silently into the living room. Max was asleep on the couch. Good. He bit his lip nervously, and moved to kneel beside her, his breath catching in his throat. "Thanks" he whispered, almost soundlessly, as he reached over and pulled a blanket over her. He would never be able to tell her that in person, but maybe she would understand anyway.  
  
And maybe she would understand why he was about to take her bike. He smiled vaguely as he grabbed her keys off the table.  
  
  
  
"he's dead. He is so dead." Max repeated for about the twentieth time as she slammed her locker shut. Cindy rolled her eyes. "I'm sure he had a really good reason to take your bike" she told her  
  
"There is no reason good enough for taking my bike. That bike is my life." Max explained to her slowly. "If he has harmed it in the slightest, and I'm talking one paint chip here, he is so going to pay."  
  
"Well, here comes the corpse now" Cindy nodded towards the door. Max turned to glare in the direction of the door.  
  
Alec walked in slowly. The first thing Max noticed was the way he was walking. Stiffly, like he had been hurt in a fight and was trying to hide it. He nodded briefly to Normal, otherwise ignoring his boss, who was about to say something to him.  
  
"Hey, Boo" Cindy greeted him. "OC" he spoke softly, his voice deeper than usual. He leant over and hugged her lightly.  
  
"Hey" Max interrupted, anger clear in her voice. Alec turned. "What the hell reason could you." she started to berate him, then stopped, getting a good look at him. he looked, well, bad. He was dressed well, as always, had obviously gone home to change clothes. But he looked sick. His face was pale, and he hadn't shaved. And he was wearing sunglasses. Inside.  
  
"Take the glasses off" she told him, glaring.  
  
"Max, we need a rule. Okay? You don't get to yell at me until I have at least two cups of coffee."  
  
"Take them off, or I will"  
  
Alec didn't move. Max shrugged, and reached up to remove the glasses herself. He closed his eyes as the more intense light hit him, then blinked several times trying to focus. Max stared at him. reaching up, she slid her hand behind his head, and pulled his head towards her, so that she could see his eyes clearly. The whites of his eyes almost red, and as she stared at him, he started to close them, to block out some of the sunlight.  
  
OC coughed, warning of an approaching Normal. Max took another look at Alec, then handed the glasses back to him. he slipped them on, and turned to Normal.  
  
"I expect you have a really good reason for leaving early yesterday?" Max's mind started to race, frantically trying to come up with a good excuse. "And you" Normal turned to Alec. "keep your social life to your off hours, and at least shave before you come to work"  
  
Alec stared back at him, his mind not focussing too well. Illness, Death in the Family. none of them would account for Max and Cindy as well.  
  
"Normal, I told you they were delayed at that checkpoint" Sketchy said loudly as he walked up quickly and leaned against a locker. "At Sector 5? There was like a three hour delay, someone snuck through without a pass, and they were holding everyone up."  
  
Normal looked at him, blankly. "Why would I have more than two people in a sector at a time?"  
  
Alec sighed. "Busted" he muttered, turning his head to look at Max, and smiling slightly. Normal caught the look, and stared. Was it possible? His golden boy. and her? Granted she was okay looking, but she was such a handful. And Alec? He had girls throwing themselves at him all the time. With a body like that, it was completely. He turned to look at OC  
  
"Hey, don't be lookin' at Original Cindy like that. She don't even go there. Just tryin ta cover for her friends"  
  
Normal looked at all three of them. "Skip work again, and I'll toss you all on your asses. Including you" he turned to glare at Sketchy. "And you're all on double shifts for the next week to make up for it." He turned away.  
  
"Thanks, man" Alec turned to Sketchy, punching him lightly on the shoulder. "You came through for us, big-time"  
  
"No prob" he replied.  
  
"Thanks, Sketch" Max added, before turning to glare at Alec again. 


	3. chapter 3

Max took a step towards Alec, anger clear on her face. "We're not done yet" she told him. "you should have."  
  
"Max" Alec muttered quietly, interrupting her. "I'm sorry. Okay. For putting you out, taking your bike, your bed, everything. Can we please not do this now?" each word was stressed, as if it was an effort.  
  
Max stared at him. Alec apologising? That was strange. She looked closer at him. the sunglasses he was wearing hid so much. he seemed fine, just slightly pale, but the sound of his voice suggested otherwise. She decided that somehow, today, they would be assigned to the same sector. Alec was still facing in her direction, and she frantically scanned her memory. What had he said? Oh, it did require an answer. "Then we'll do it tomorrow" she told him, trying to act unconcerned about him. "But, I'm warning you, if I find a scratch on it."  
  
Alec shrugged, and turned away.  
  
"Max." OC spoke up.  
  
"I know" she replied. "He's still sick. I'll stick with him today, see if I can figure out what's wrong"  
  
"You could ask him" Cindy suggested, pulling on her bike gloves.  
  
"You honestly think he'll tell me if he's feeling sick?"  
  
"Good point"  
  
three hours of biking all over the city, delivering packages and getting signatures, and Alec had said nothing. At all. Even when she had asked him a direct question, the most Max had gotten out of him was the odd grunt. Mostly, he had ignored her. "Hey" she shoved the pad back into her bag, delivery complete, and grabbed her bike off him. "Lunchtime. Meeting OC and Sketch at the park in sector 2?"  
  
"Whatever" Alec replied, shrugging. "He speaks!" she responded sarcastically, trying to get a reaction out of him. she had always understood Alec better when they were fighting. It was comfortable for both of them, and she thought that he enjoyed it as much as she did. Apparently not today. "Get off my case" he told her, biking in the direction of the park. Max sighed, and followed him.  
  
  
  
When they reached the park, OC was already there, sitting in the shade under a tree. Alec threw his bike to the ground, and stretched out beside her, closing his eyes and throwing his arm over his face, to try to block out as much light as possible. He was exhausted. He hadn't slept much the night before, and the physical activity of the day had drained him.  
  
"Hey, Boo" Cindy rested her hand on his leg. He opened his eyes slightly and looked up at her. "Food?" she offered, holding something out to him.  
  
Alec groaned, closing his eyes again.  
  
Max watched the scene, and sighed. She got OC's attention, and pointed off to the side. Cindy could see Sketchy approaching, walking his bike, and she nodded, standing up to go meet Sketch, and head him off.  
  
When they were alone, Max moved closer to Alec. "Cindy brought some milk. At least drink that" she spoke quietly  
  
"I'm fine" he muttered.  
  
"Prove it." She challenged.  
  
"How am I supposed to do that?" he asked, turning towards her, and raising himself up off the ground, resting on one elbow. Max shrugged in reply.  
  
Alec lay back down, closing his eyes. He remembered how he had felt at Jam Pony, unable to control his body, terrified that the convulsions just would not stop. And Max had been there. He had heard her talking, and had been able to concentrate on her voice. It had helped. He sighed, and shook his head. What he wouldn't give to have her arms around him now.  
  
Max heard him sigh, and looked over at him. he looked a lot better, almost back to his old self, but the way he was lying, it seemed uncomfortable. Like he wasn't as relaxed as he would like other people to think he was. She moved closer to him, putting her hand on his arm. She felt him open his eyes and turn his head to look at her, could even feel the surprise radiating from him. She purposely looked away, watching OC and Sketchy talking in the distance, trying to convey the idea that her touching him was no big deal, and that it definitely wasn't a sign of pity.  
  
Alec watched her for a moment, then closed his eyes again. He had been surprised when Max had touched him, but pleasantly so. He kept still, not wanting her to move, needing to feel her touch.  
  
"Back at Manticore" he spoke, real quietly, so quietly that Max had to move closer to him to hear what he was saying. "must have been about seven, maybe younger. There was this kid, slept in the rack next to mine. He was the first of us to get the shakes." Alec stopped speaking, and Max moved her hand slightly up his arm.  
  
"Alec?" she asked.  
  
"He died." Alec said shortly, standing up and stepping away from Max. He moved several paces away towards a tree, and leant against it, staring across the park. Max followed him, moving to stand beside him, slipping an arm around his waist. Alec stiffened, but didn't pull away.  
  
"I'm sorry," she told him. Alec shook his head, not looking at her. She moved her other hand up to touch his face, turning his head down to her. "Alec, I do understand. Maybe not exactly, but I lost friends too. And if you want to talk about it, I promise I'll listen." She held her breath, waiting for his response.  
  
As Alec listened to her words, a sarcastic response came to his lips, but he didn't voice it. For some reason, it felt like everything was about to change. Like, whatever he did next, was going to change everything. He bit his lip.  
  
Max saw his hesitation, and reacted to it. She moved her hand to the back of his neck, and pulled his head towards her, hugging him lightly. She felt Alec stiffen, then slowly relax against her. One of his arms moved up against her, resting at the small of her back, hesitantly, as if he was worried about her reaction.  
  
  
  
Sketch stopped talking to Cindy, and stared over at Max and Alec. They were holding each other, Alec's head bent, his face close to Max's neck. "Are they.?" he asked Cindy, unable to take his eyes off the scene. She looked over, and shrugged. "together?" she asked. "No idea. Better Alec than Logan, though, right?"  
  
Sketch nodded in agreement, not taking his eyes off the scene in front of him.  
  
  
  
"Can you get me some Tryptophan?" Alec asked her. Max pulled back slightly.  
  
"You look okay to me" she commented.  
  
"I. I got sick again last night" he told her.  
  
"I'll get some" she told him, worried. Her episodes had been bad, but from her experience, and from what she had seen at Manticore, it wasn't common to have two attacks so soon in time.  
  
"I'm sorry I took your bike" Max shrugged, pulling away from him. "It's okay" she told him. "I trust you with it, just tell me next time, okay"  
  
"So, next time I want something from you, I have your permission to wake you up and tell you about it?" Alec grinned, suggestively. Max laughed out loud. That was more like it. If Alec was making a comment like that, he must be feeling better. She took his hand in hers, and led him back to their bikes.  
  
  
  
"can we go over there now?" Sketchy asked, impatiently. "I'm hungry. We only have about half an hour of lunch left. Some of us need to eat."  
  
Cindy sighed, then nodded, and the two of them walked over to join Max and Alec. Sketchy threw himself onto the ground and looked with interest at them, particularly their hands, which were still joined. Alec caught his gaze, and released his grip on her hand, allowing her to pull away. Instead, she tightened her hold on him. Sketchy's expression turned to one of amazement.  
  
"So, uh, we going to Crash tonight?" he asked, stammering. "I'm in" Max nodded, smiling. Cindy nodded too. "Beer to drink, honeys to hook up wit'. Where else Original Cindy be?" Alec said nothing.  
  
"Logan coming?" Sketch asked. Cindy hit him, and he glared at her. It was a reasonable question, wasn't it?  
  
Alec pulled away from Max. Max glanced at him, then looked over to Sketchy. If looks could kill. "Not tonight" she replied. 


	4. chapter 4

Cindy fought her way through the crowd. Crash was packed tonight, for some reason, and she fought not to spill the four jugs of beer she was carrying. Finally, she made it through to the back room, and over to her table. She raised a jug towards Sketchy, who was playing pool with Max, and losing. The boy just didn't get it. Playing pool with transgenics was never a good plan. Particularly when money was involved.  
  
"Hey. Beer" she nudged Alec, who was staring vaguely in the direction of the pool table. "Thanks" Alec replied, not moving to take it from her. She sighed, and put the jug on the table.  
  
"What's up, Boo?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, nothing" he replied slowly.  
  
"Nice view?" she commented, following his gaze to where Max was taking a shot, sinking the black, and grinning at Sketchy. Alec shrugged.  
  
Max and Sketchy headed over to the table, grabbing a jug each and taking a seat. Alec kept staring in the same direction. Cindy caught Max's eye, and nodded towards Alec. "Hey" she said pointedly, then smiled as he said nothing. She stepped up behind him, and slowly slipped her arm around his throat, as if to choke him. her other hand rested in his hair. She pulled her arm slowly back towards her, tightening against his neck. Alec reacted, reaching up to grab her hand with his, and pulling it down away from his throat, so that it was resting on his chest. He turned to look at her. "There are better ways of getting my attention, you know" he told her, smiling slightly.  
  
Sketchy laughed. "Transgenic foreplay, huh?" he muttered, glancing around to see if anyone could overhear him. Alec laughed. "You think that's foreplay?" he asked, grinning. "Never been with one of us, huh?"  
  
"I wish." Sketch replied, taking a drink. Max laughed, taking seat near to Alec. He glanced over at her and smiled, before grabbing his jug and pouring himself a drink. He thought twice, and slid the glass over to Max, grabbing another one for himself.  
  
"Boy's learning" Cindy commented. Alec smiled sweetly, and held out his newly poured beer to her, looking with mock concern at his nearly empty jug. She returned his smile, and took the beer from him. "I'll say one thing for Manticore," she spoke in a low voice. "They did one thing that mother nature couldn't do, created a man with manners"  
  
"On behalf of the human race, Hey!" Sketchy commented, taking another drink. "You're letting the side down, man" he told Alec. Alec shrugged, downing his beer. He smiled genuinely, this time, enjoying the fact that both of his friends, the only human friends he really had, were comfortable enough with him to joke about his transgenic past.  
  
"Speaking of people who don't have a clue" Sketch was sitting facing the door, and nodded towards it. Alec turned slightly, and groaned. Logan. Just great. He moved his stool slightly away from Max.  
  
"Hey guys" Logan greeted, joining them and grabbing a stool from the next table. He moved it between Max and Alec. "Can I get some room here?" he asked Alec. Alec smirked at him. "just push Max out of the way" it's only a virus, he thought to himself, go on, Logan, touch her. It won't hurt. much.  
  
Sketchy choked on his beer, and OC hid a grin. Max glared at him.  
  
"Fine, whatever" Alec stood up. "I need a real drink anyway"  
  
"Looks like you've had enough" Logan commented, looking at his empty jug, and at the other jugs on the table. Only the one in front of Sketchy had even been touched.  
  
"Get out of my face, Logan" Alec smiled, pushing past him. "Want anything?" he asked Max, pausing behind her, and putting his hand on her shoulder. Logan glared.  
  
"I'm fine" Max replied, with her standard "I'm-so-going-to-kill-you-later" expression. Alec shrugged, and went to the bar. Logan took the empty seat and turned to Max. "So, I thought you were coming over last night." He asked her. Oh. Max frowned. That's right. They had made plans, kind of. Her and Alec were supposed to do some mission for him, get some intel, then she was going to drop it at his place.  
  
"We weren't able to complete the mission. Something came up." She told him  
  
"Something came up?" Logan frowned. "Like what?"  
  
Max thought quickly. she was not going to tell him that Alec got sick. No chance. And she definitely wasn't going to tell him that she didn't do the mission herself because Alec had spent the night in her bed, and she was watching over him. "Uh, just something I couldn't get out of" she glanced at Sketchy, trying to hint that it was transgenic related, and that since Sketchy didn't know about them, to Logan's knowledge, anyway, they should drop it.  
  
"How about tonight?" Logan asked. "I really need you to do this for me"  
  
Max searched frantically for an excuse. She needed Alec with her for this one, and he wasn't 100%.  
  
Alec picked that moment to return with half a bottle of Scotch, and a few glasses. He looked over at Logan, who had stolen his seat, and shook his head, grabbing the other stool and moving it beside Sketch.  
  
"There's something I have to do tonight" Max replied finally to Logan's question. Logan sighed. "Look, Max, it's just, this is really important"  
  
Alec laughed, and started to drink, downing two doubles.  
  
Ten minutes later, Logan was still trying to convince Max that the mission was important. OC and Sketchy were watching Alec slowly empty the bottle of scotch.  
  
Alec felt the urge to hit something. Preferably Logan. He took another drink, then reached for the bottle. He thought he had his hand on the neck, but as he lifted the bottle, his hand spasmed and he dropped it. The bottle fell to the ground, shattering, spraying himself and Logan with glass and scotch.  
  
"You stupid moron!" Logan stood quickly, turning to face Alec. "God, what the hell is wrong with you? Can you do anything besides get drunk and screw up? What was Max doing last night, anyway? Saving your ass again?"  
  
Alec glared at him, taking a step closer to him. "Take your best shot" he felt his self control slipping away from him. his hand started to shake, and he clenched it into a fist. Logan saw this, took it the wrong way, and shoved him. Alec moved, but not fast enough. he staggered back against the pool table, grabbing it with one hand to hold himself up.  
  
Sketchy was on his feet instantly. No matter how genetically enhanced he was, Alec was obviously still recovering from the seizure the day before. Sketch moved between Logan and Alec.  
  
"Go through me." He offered, glaring at Logan, for once his face serious.  
  
"You don't know what's going on here" Logan told him.  
  
"Let me guess" Sketch spoke angrily. "You're pissed at Alec, because Max was too busy with him last night to use her transgenic skills to do some stupid mission for you." Logan stared. Slowly, Alec stood up and moved to stand beside Sketchy.  
  
Max stood quickly, and moved between the three of them. "Keep this up, and all of us get a lot of attention we don't want."  
  
Logan refused to back down. Alec looked at her, and sighed. "I need some fresh air" he turned and walked out.  
  
"Max" Logan said pointedly. "I really need." She turned on him. "Not everything is about you. Touch one of my friends again, and you'll figure that out" she spun away, heading after Alec.  
  
"Friends?" Logan asked Cindy. She glared at him, and followed Sketchy to the door.  
  
  
  
Alec paused in the alley outside, leaning against the wall. His hand was still shaking, and he leaned his head back, breathing deeply as he fought to steady it.  
  
"Alec" he heard Max's voice and opened his eyes. "Max, listen, I didn't mean." he tried to explain himself quickly.  
  
Max shook her head, and moved closer to him, pulling him into a hug. At first, Alec stood there, stunned, then hesitantly put his arms around her, and lowered his head to rest on her shoulder.  
  
"Are you okay?" she whispered. "Yeah" he replied. "No, not really" he modified his reply. Max tightened her arms around him.  
  
"Hey, Boo. Never thought Original Cindy'd see the day, Logan could take down a Manticore graduate" he looked up, saw OC and Sketchy standing there, and smiled weakly. "Yeah, if they ever find out, they'll give me detention" he let go of Max, and hugged OC briefly, before clapping Sketch on the shoulder. "Thanks, man"  
  
"No prob. You okay?" Sketchy looked at his friend worriedly.  
  
Alec nodded, before sliding down the wall to sit on the ground. Sitting down was much better.  
  
"Hey, get up" Max knelt beside him, putting her hand on his knee. "If you pass out, I'm not carrying your ass back to your apartment."  
  
"Pass out? You think I'm gonna faint or something?" Alec glared at her. Max smiled. "I know, you're tougher than that. So get up."  
  
"Give me a minute, okay?" Alec closed his eyes for a second. Max nodded, sitting beside him.  
  
From the doorway, Logan watched, growing angrier by the second. 


	5. chapter 5

Logan leaned against the wall and glared. Alec had challenged him, had been about to strike him, and he had reacted. Self defence, right? So why had everyone sided with Alec? Him and Sketchy had never been close, so he understood Sketch going to Alec's defence, but Max? she knew what Alec was like, it's not like he hadn't had to listen to her complain about him, constantly, for hours on end. And now, she was sitting in an alley beside him, her arm around his shoulder, and her other hand on his leg.  
  
It was enough to make him sick. He pounded the wall in frustration.  
  
Alec heard a noise and looked up. He saw Logan standing there watching him, and groaned. Taking a deep breath, he stood slowly. Max moved beside up beside him. "You okay?" she asked. Alec stared pointedly at Logan. "I'm fine." He told her. "I'll see you tomorrow at work, okay?"  
  
"Want a ride home?" she offered, unsure about letting him leave by himself.  
  
"Nah, I'm alright" he smiled at her, almost his old trademark smile. "Later" he walked quickly to the end of the alley, and turned the corner, before slowing down. His smile turned to a grimace.  
  
In the alley, Max turned to Logan. He gestured inside Crash, and headed back inside. "Hope you're gonna yell at him" Sketch commented.  
  
"Maybe tomorrow" she commented, turning away from Crash. "Ready to go home?" she asked Cindy, who grinned back at her.  
  
  
  
Max's beeper went off for the third time in ten minutes. For the third time, she ignored it. "break it" Cindy advised.  
  
"Max" Logan's voice. She turned towards the entrance to Jam Pony, to see Logan standing there, holding up a cell phone. "I was hoping to talk to you in Crash last night" he told her.  
  
"Something came up" she told him.  
  
"Really, like what?" he stared at her intently.  
  
"Its, uh, look, its complicated. I had to help out a friend. It was really important."  
  
"Alec?" he asked her, suspiciously. Max took a deep breath, and nodded towards the locker area. Logan followed her. She leaned against the locker and looked at him, making a decision. She could trust him. "Remember last year, when I asked you to get some Tryptophan for me, when my suppliers ran out? Well, my supplies are running low. I need to get some more. Can you help?"  
  
Logan looked anxiously at her. "Are you feeling okay?" he reached his hand out towards her, stopping before he touched her. Max looked down.  
  
"It's not for you, is it?" Logan asked, all of the pieces falling into place for him. "Alec."  
  
"He got sick last night. That's why he was so weak at Crash."  
  
"Why I was able to take him down" Logan filled in the blanks.  
  
"Can you help me?" Max asked him. "I need some Tryptophan. Can you get hold of any?"  
  
"I don't know" he told her. Probably, he could. He had people who owed him a few favours. But he needed these people on his side, there was information he needed that only they could provide. Since Max and Alec hadn't completed the mission for him the other night, he was going to need to call in those favours. "I'll see what I can do"  
  
"Thanks. I appreciate it" Max told him.  
  
Alec swerved through traffic and slammed on his brakes as he entered Jam Pony. A couple of metres into the place, his brakes worked enough to bring him to a halt. "Not inside!" Normal yelled at him across the counter. "Sorry" Alec smiled at his boss. "4th run of the day though, and only 10am. ya gotta be impressed with that, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, maybe you can teach your degenerate friends how to work" Normal growled at him, then smiled, unable to stay mad at him for long.  
  
Alec glanced over in the direction Normal was looking in. And saw Logan talking to Max. he sighed, and shoved his bike against the wall. At least he was feeling better today.  
  
"Logan. Out in daylight, I see." He commented, turning the combination on his locker slowly, praying that Logan would react, hoping for a reason to attack him.  
  
"How's the hand, Alec?" Logan replied sweetly. "If its still shaking I can help you open that locker" Alec turned slowly. Logan took a step back, seeing the look in his eye, the look of someone who had killed before, and wasn't afraid to do it again. Then he grinned. Max wouldn't let Alec touch him. hell, he had taken Alec himself the night before. He was still weak. "Careful, boy" Logan taunted, "Just relax. Imagine if you got sick in front of all these people. Imagine what they would say."  
  
Alec shrugged. He really didn't feel that bad. Logan opened his mouth again, and Alec reacted. His hand went around Logan's throat, and he drove him back against the opposite lockers, lifting him a foot off the ground. There was a loud noise as Logan's body connected with the locker, followed by the softer sound of Logan gasping, his throat struggling for air around Alec's hand.  
  
"Alec! Stop!" Max reached for him, touching him lightly on the arm to gain his attention. Alec's arm snapped out, catching her, shoving her back into his locker.  
  
He looked over at her, still holding Logan against the locker. He glanced back at Logan, and opened his hand. Logan fell to the floor, his hand going to his throat as he struggled to get air. Alec turned his attention back to Max, who had regained her feet and was moving towards Alec, a highly pissed off expression on her face.  
  
"What the hell is your problem?" She glared at him.  
  
"You betrayed me" Alec said, his voice cold. "What?" she asked him, her anger subsiding for the moment, to be replaced by confusion.  
  
"Stay away from me." Alec told her, turning away, glancing at Logan as he did so. "And you" he commented. "Talk to me again, and I will show you everything I learnt at Manticore."  
  
He stormed off, grabbing his bike, ignoring his co-workers, who were trying to figure out what was going on.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Logan asked, still rubbing his throat. Max looked at him, then looked away again. What had just happened? Okay, so Logan had said something stupid to Alec. But, it was no more stupid than Alec's comment to him, and Alec had started it. They didn't like each other, that much was clear, but they had always put up with each other, limiting themselves to sarcastic comments. And Alec's last comment to her. That she had betrayed him? what did that mean? She hadn't done anything. all she had done was. Damnit. She turned and slammed her hand against the locker.  
  
Alec started to run, moving through the woods like he was a part of them. He had thrown his bike away at the entrance to the woods, and had started to run. Running, not blurring. Running took up more energy. It was unnatural, and therefore more draining. He leapt over a ditch, and forced himself to sprint up a small hill. At the top, he collapsed, breathing hard. In a few seconds, he had recovered, and he sat up, leaning back against a tree. In front of him, an old abandoned complex. On a map, it was described as a VA hospital. In reality, it was his home.  
  
  
  
Max had searched everywhere. His apartment, Crash, Joshua's, even the Space Needle. She couldn't find Alec anywhere. She headed back to Crash, and sat down at their table, grabbing a beer. "No luck?" Cindy asked, already knowing the answer. Max shook her head.  
  
"He'll be a'ight, jus' need ta chill somewhere for a time."  
  
"Yeah" Sketchy agreed. "He'll turn up at work, tomorrow, smiling as if nothing had happened."  
  
"I don't think so." Max replied. "He thinks I let him down, by telling Logan that he was sick"  
  
"But, you were doing it to help, to get him the pills he needs. Why would that be such a big deal?" Sketch asked. Personally, he thought that Alec would forgive Max anything, once he had had the chance to calm down. By tomorrow, he would see them at Crash, playing pool, pretending they were only friends.  
  
"If I understood Alec in the slightest, do you think I'd be here, trying to figure out where he would be?" Max asked, frustrated.  
  
"Whenever I'm upset" Sketchy said thoughtfully, taking another drink, "I go to this park that my dad used to take me to when I was young. Makes me feel better, you know?"  
  
"Alec didn't have a father. And there was definitely no park at Manticore." Max sighed, then her eyes widened. "Manticore" she stated. 


	6. chapter 6

Max came up behind him, saw him sitting against a tree. Slowly, she approached him, making noise so that he knew she was there.  
  
"Go away, Max" he told her, not turning around. "No, I can't do that" she replied, moving in a wide circle so that she was coming up in front of him.  
  
"Go. Away" he stood up, glaring at her, his voice cold.  
  
"Alec, tell me what's going on"  
  
he shook his head, and turned to walk away. Max moved quickly in front of him.  
  
"Talk to me" she told him.  
  
"I told you, get away from me. Why can't you take a hint?"  
  
"Because you're my friend. And you're upset. And I want to help" she spoke quietly, reaching her hand slowly towards him.  
  
"We're not friends" Alec laughed bitterly. "We've never been friends. 'I'm sorry I inflicted you on this world' remember that? Not exactly the thing you say to a friend, is it?"  
  
Max looked stunned. She remembered the day she had said that to him, in the jail cell. She had meant it at the time, thinking that Alec had become a killer, just like Ben. She had spoken in anger, blaming herself for letting him go free when she should have known that he would be like Ben. And she had taken it out on Alec.  
  
"I didn't mean that" she whispered. "You are my friend, Alec. In some ways, you're my best friend, you understand me better than anyone."  
  
Alec's expression softened, but not by much. "But you don't understand me at all" he told her.  
  
"Because you don't let anyone understand you!" She almost yelled at him. "You wouldn't have even told me about the shaking if I hadn't been there."  
  
Alec bit his lip and looked down. "It's not that easy."  
  
"Take your time" she told him, shrugging. "I'm not going anywhere"  
  
"Don't you have to go see Wonderboy?" he asked, sarcastically.  
  
Max laughed, and he looked up at her, confused. "I've walked away from him three times in the past two days, all of them to check on you. He probably thinks we're having an affair"  
  
Alec grinned slightly. He bent down and picked up several stones from the ground. Turning towards Manticore, he threw a stone at the complex.  
  
Max waited for him to talk. After about five minutes of him saying nothing, she shrugged and walked over to him. she glanced up at him, and gently took a stone from his hand. Rolling it in her hand, she took a seat on the ground, leaning back against a tree. "I remember when I was about 5" she spoke quietly. "it was the first time I realised that we weren't all perfect. Jack, my littlest brother, he started crying one night, and we couldn't get him to stop." Alec looked over at her, and moved to sit beside her, his leg pressing against hers.  
  
"He was shaking" she told him, looking over at him. Alec closed his eyes. "We didn't know what to do, so we, me and Jhondy, we crawled into bed with him, and held him until he stopped. Zach said that we had to stick together, that if one of us was weak, we all had to protect him until he got better. He said that was what being a family was all about."  
  
Alec stiffened beside her. "I never told you why we left Manticore, did I? The real reason?" she asked. He shook his head, staring straight ahead of him.  
  
"I had a seizure. A guard saw, and he was going to."  
  
"No!" Alec jerked to his feet, and moved away from her.  
  
"Alec, I don't understand"  
  
"We killed him, okay?" Alec yelled, turning back to face her. "We were never a family, not like you were"  
  
"What?" she asked softly.  
  
"they told us, always, that if one of us was weak, that it would destroy all of us. That a team is only as strong as its weakest member. This kid, 384, he got the shakes. At first we didn't know what to do, it could have been natural, we didn't know. but the second time it happened was during a mission. We failed to complete it. First time we ever failed a mission."  
  
Max nodded. She knew the penalties for failing to complete a mission. She had first hand experience of that. Once. Once was enough.  
  
"We turned him in" Alec's voice dropped to a whisper. "The CO asked for an explanation, and we told him. 384 screwed it up for us. So they dragged him out of formation and to the hospital wing. He never came back."  
  
"Oh, God" Max whispered. She moved close to him, slipping her arm gently around his waist, and when he didn't react, she pulled him closer. She could feel him shaking slightly, from the memories. "Alec, I'm sorry"  
  
"we killed him." he repeated, his voice cracking. Max's heart broke and she reached her hand behind his neck, pulling his head down against her.  
  
"It's not your fault" she told him. he pulled back to look at her. "I shouldn't have told anyone. I should have kept it to myself."  
  
She pulled back far enough to look at his face. His eyes were filled with pain, his expression so hurt, that she couldn't stand it. She touched his cheek gently with one finger, tracing a line down to his jaw.  
  
"Alec, I'm."  
  
and somehow they were kissing. She had no idea who started it, who had moved first, but all of a sudden their lips were touching, and neither of them were pulling back. Alec's arms tightened around her, and he kissed her hungrily. She could feel his pain, his anguish, and right then, she would have done anything to make it stop. She deepened the kiss further, biting at his lip in an effort to bring him closer to her.  
  
Alec's brain had long since shut down. His body had taken over and he was just reacting, trying to forget the pain. Her mouth was so warm against his, and as he felt her tongue enter his mouth, he forgot everything but the feel of her in his arms. His hands pulled her tighter against him, moving up under her shirt. She was still too far away from him, the cloth between them too thick. His hands moved up her back, moulding her against him.  
  
Max groaned into his mouth, her hand running through his hair and tracing his barcode. She pushed him backwards, against a tree, moving hard up against him. Under her foot, a twig bent, then snapped. They both jerked apart, gasping for breath and staring at each other. Neither moved. Finally, Max looked away. Alec swallowed hard, and stepped away. He forced himself not to look back. He had to figure out what was going on here, and the only thing he knew for sure, was that if he looked back at her, right then, with her hair messed up and her mouth bruised, he wouldn't be able to walk away.  
  
Max watched him go, opening her mouth several times to say something, but not knowing what to say. 


	7. chapter 7

Alec moved quickly, not quite running, but moving really fast. He needed to get away, to think. And he also needed to stop thinking. He broke into a run, trying to outrace his thoughts.  
  
  
  
"Cindy" Max shoved the door to her apartment open, and called out to her friend. OC looked up from the couch. So did Sketchy. Damn, Max sighed. She did not need this right now.  
  
"Hey, Boo. Find him?"  
  
"Uhh, yeah." Max collapsed onto a chair, and looked over at them. Both sat on the edge of the couch, watching her.  
  
"So?" Sketch asked. "He okay?"  
  
"Listen, Sketch, don't take this the wrong way, but go away, okay?" Max told him quietly. Sketchy looked over at her, then at OC, hoping for an explanation. "Girl talk" Cindy told him simply.  
  
Sketchy stood quickly. "Okay, Later" he let himself out, and was halfway down the corridor before it hit him. Girl Talk? She'd been with Alec. Girl talk about what? Surely her and Alec hadn't. he started to smile.  
  
"So, spill. What's goin' on in that head, boo?" Max sighed. "Alec?" OC prompted. "Is your boy okay?"  
  
"He's not my boy!" Max blurted out loudly, then looked down, and shook her head. "Sorry" she told her friend. "It's just, well, we kissed."  
  
"You did what?" OC leant towards her, her eyes wide. "You kissed Alec? Our Alec? Seriously?"  
  
Max sighed. "It wasn't like that"  
  
"Max, I love you, but if you use that phrase one more time, I swear I'm going to slap you"  
  
"We were talking" Max explained slowly. "Alec was telling me something, he was really upset, then, we were in each others arms, kissing."  
  
"And how was it?"  
  
Max laughed, then stared at her friend.  
  
"Oh, what OC meant to say was, What was Alec upset about?"  
  
"it's kind of hard to explain." Max sighed. "I'm tired. Can we talk about this in the morning?"  
  
"Yah. But we will be talking about it, count on that." OC told her, watching her friend closely. Max looked rattled, confused. This was one story that OC would look forward to hearing. Max stood and walked towards the bedroom.  
  
"Hey, boo?" Max turned back.  
  
"You never did answer the question. How was it?"  
  
Max smiled slightly. "I don't know. intense."  
  
Alec pulled his jacket closer around him, took a deep breath and entered Jam Pony. A co-worker he knew slightly nodded to him as he came in, and Alec forced his usual smile onto his face. Just act like everything's alright, he told himself. Nothing happened, you and Max didn't kiss, therefore you don't have to try to figure out what it meant. Max didn't kiss him. Why then could he still feel her lips against his? The way that her fingers ran through his hair, over his neck. STOP IT! He forced himself to think of something else. Mission. The sign on the wall in his barracks. Right above his bed. he had always thought that it had made him special, having the sign above his bed and not someone else's. The sign seemed to apply to him more than anyone else. Mission.  
  
"Hey!" Alec felt something touch his shoulder, and he spun in that direction. Normal took a step back. "Sorry, man. My mind was somewhere else." Alec spoke quickly, trying to focus. "What did you say?"  
  
"is everything okay, Alec?" Normal asked, looking concerned for once in his life. "What do you mean?" Alec spoke defensively.  
  
"Twice this week you've left work early. And don't pretend you were with Max the first time. I don't believe you and her would hook up. She's nothing but trouble, and you know that. So, what's going on?"  
  
Alec stared back at his boss, trying to figure out what to say. His eyes flicked across the room, to where OC sat talking to Sketchy. She caught his eye, and he pleaded soundlessly for help. Cindy nodded, standing quickly.  
  
"Alec, honey, we need to talk. Excuse us, Normal." She grabbed Alec by the arm, and pulled him towards the lockers.  
  
"Thanks" Alec muttered, running a hand through his hair. "That was one conversation I didn't want to have."  
  
Cindy shrugged, retaking her seat, and gesturing towards another one. Alec sat, nodding to Sketch.  
  
"Hey, buddy" Sketch greeted.  
  
"So, Alec. Spill" OC told him, watching him closely.  
  
"About what?" Alec tried to keep his tone light. He failed. Sketchy leant forward slightly, picking up on the fact that something was going to happen.  
  
"You and Max. what happened?"  
  
Mission. Alec thought. Focus on something else. He looked around the room, playing for time until he figured out what he could say. It would be so easy just to get up and walk away, say nothing, but he owed Cindy. She had covered for him. so, he had to give her an answer. But what?  
  
Max walked into the room, and he froze, staring at her. she had ran her hand down his cheek, moving in closer to him Alec stood quickly. "Uh, I'm not feeling too great. Be right back" he turned towards the back door, leaving quickly before Max could join them.  
  
"What was that about?" Sketchy asked, watching Max as she came over to them. "Hey, Max." he greeted her.  
  
"Hey" Max said vaguely. "where'd Alec go?"  
  
"Outside" OC replied. "Said he wasn't feeling too hot."  
  
Max looked in the direction of the door Alec had left from, then back to OC, then back to the door.  
  
"Go check on him" OC told her, watching in amusement. The two of them were complete idiots. Neither of them wanting to admit that something had happened between them. It was entertaining, in a heterosexual kind of way.  
  
  
  
Alec leant against the alley wall, breathing deeply. He had to gain control. He couldn't keep doing this. he had to be in control. It was the only way to prevent the shakes from coming back. He slid down the wall to sit on the ground, and forced himself to concentrate. Mission, he thought. Duty, Discipline. Focus. He remembered being young, staring at the sign, praying that he would be good enough, strong enough, so that they would not take him away to the hospital wing. He could almost see the sign in front of him, and when he closed his eyes, he could smell the antiseptic smell that he would always associate with his barracks at Manticore. As he thought about it, the sign grew more and more clear in his mind, as if he could reach out and touch it. Complete the mission, he thought to himself. Identify the target, ascertain the most appropriate method to achieve it, carry out the plan. Complete the mission.  
  
He felt a sense of calm sweep over him. 


	8. chapter 8

"Alec?" Max stepped out into the alley, looking around for him. She had no idea what she was going to say to him, but she knew that they had to talk. She was worried about him, he had been acting strange the past few days. The way he had spoken in the woods, she would have done anything to make him feel better, to get him to smile at her in that annoying, sarcastic way he had. She caught sight of him sitting on the ground, his eyes closed, and moved quickly over to him.  
  
"Alec?" she asked, worriedly touching his shoulder. He opened his eyes and looked blankly at her. Mission he thought to himself. Focus on that. "Max" he commented, moving his head to look at her hand, still on his shoulder. He kept his gaze there for a few seconds, then turned his head back to hers. Max moved her hand back quickly. "Alec, we need to talk" she told him.  
  
"About what?" he asked, standing up.  
  
"Alec" she moved in front of him, so that he couldn't leave.  
  
"Max" he mimicked her tone, smiling sardonically.  
  
She shook her head. She had no idea what to say to him. somehow, it was easier when he wasn't pretending to be someone else, someone he wasn't.  
  
"We talking or not?" he asked her, shifting slightly in the direction of the door.  
  
"You tell me" she replied, watching him closely.  
  
"Not" Alec replied, pushing past her and heading back inside.  
  
"Cindy!" he greeted his friend, giving her a quick hug. "Sorry about before"  
  
"No Hassle" she told him, hugging him back. "You a'ight?" she waited for Alec's usual "I'm always alright" instead he shrugged, biting his lip. "Yeah" he muttered, turning away from her, grabbing a package off the desk. "Work calls" he grinned, reaching for his bike.  
  
Max walked back inside in time to watch him leave. "Original Cindy's guessin' you two di'n't talk?"  
  
Max shrugged. "He looked right through me."  
  
"Boy's all confused. Messed up. Needs someone to talk to."  
  
"Don't look at me," Max told her. "He brushed me off before."  
  
"Kissed ya too"  
  
"Don't even go there"  
  
  
  
Alec skidded his bike into the building. It was after 6, long after he should have packed it in for the night. He should have had about 3 drinks right now, and won about $20 off Sketchy in Crash. His last delivery had been a nightmare. First, the address had been wrong, and he had spent about half an hour trying to communicate with an Asian, who did not speak English. Then, when he had finally delivered the damn thing, he had been stuck in a sector queue for another 45 minutes. All he wanted to do was drop off his folder and get the hell out of there for a while. There were still a few people there, even that late at night. Normal behind the desk, and a few messengers, getting changed, putting stuff in their lockers, packing up for the night. Alec ditched his bike, threw the folder at Normal, and crossed over to his locker.  
  
"Hey Alec" he glanced in the direction of the voice, and smiled. "Emma. Working late?" he asked. She was a new messenger, hired just a few days ago, blonde hair, pretty smile. Any other time, he would have flirted with her, invited her out for a drink, then back to his place. And she would have accepted, that much was clear from the smile she was giving him.  
  
"Work hard, party hard" she told him, placing her hand on his arm. "So, I was thinking, how about we."  
  
her voice faded out. Alec could no longer hear what she was saying. He could see her lips moving, but couldn't understand what she was saying to him. he reached out to touch her, and felt the room spin around him. She mouthed something at him, but he couldn't hear it. Then he was on the ground, and he could hear her screaming, screaming for someone to help, for Normal, anyone. Alec forced his eyes to open, and saw her kneeling beside him. she took his hand in both of hers, and turned to speak to someone he couldn't see. "He's really shaking. I think he's in shock or something."  
  
Normal moved into Alec's view, placing his hand on his shoulder. "Easy, Buddy" he told him. "Just relax" Normal's fingers gently massaged Alec's shoulder.  
  
Alec could feel the shaking start. He couldn't actually feel his body move, but he could feel the vibrations as his hand shuddered against Emma's, and the varying pressure exerted by Normal's hand as his shoulder moved up and down against it. "All right, take it easy." Normal commented soothingly, looking down at his favourite worker. He saw an expression of panic cross over Alec's face. That would make sense, the boy was real proud of his physique, would hate to admit to any slight amount of weakness, any illness.  
  
All Alec knew was that he had to get out of there. Now. before the shaking got too bad. Right now, he could make something up, explain it. If they saw him when he got really bad, there was no way he could talk his way out of it.  
  
"Emma, go call an ambulance. Now" Normal ordered, shifting closer to Alec, putting his free hand on Alec's other shoulder. Emma squeezed his hand, then left. Now. he had to move now. while he still could. Alec moved to sit up, and two things happened at once. Normal tried to push him gently back down to the floor, and the convulsions hit. Alec's body jerked up, and his head slammed back down against the concrete floor. his eyes closed.  
  
Normal looked at him in horror. Alec's face had gone grey, and he was convulsing like he was having some kind of attack. "Alec!" he cried out, trying frantically to hold him down.  
  
"Max" Alec whispered, as his head moved from side to side. Normal stared. Why, of all the people he knew, would Alec call out for Her? "It's alright" he told him, trying to hold his head steady.  
  
"Max!" Alec cried out, gasping for breath. "Get her!" Normal told Emma, as she returned. "She'll be at that bar, they're always there. Go!"  
  
  
  
"So, what do I do?" Max asked Cindy, taking a mouthful of beer. "Talk ta him"  
  
"I tried. He walked away. And what do I say to him, anyway?"  
  
"What's in ya heart, Boo"  
  
"I don't know what that is."  
  
"Max!" Emma raced into the bar, shoving a guy out of the way to get to her table.  
  
"What's up?" she asked her.  
  
"Alec!" Emma gasped. Max felt her blood run cold. "He's sick, having a fit or something"  
  
"Where" Max demanded, standing up. "Jam Pony" she barely finished speaking before Max was out the door.  
  
  
  
Max sprinted through the entrance to JP and saw Normal kneeling on the ground. She hurried over. "Alec?" she asked quietly, kneeling beside him. his whole body was shaking, hard, and his eyes were closed.  
  
"I called an ambulance" Normal glanced at her briefly, before turning his attention back to Alec, muttering something softly to him. "No!" Max reacted, spinning around to look for Emma. "No ambulance, okay? Get rid of it" she told her, turning back to Alec. She placed her fingers on his neck, trying to feel his pulse. It was fast. Really fast. "Relax" she whispered to him. "I'm right here"  
  
Normal glared at her, not liking the way that Alec reacted to her voice, his head moving in her direction as if he heard her. "he needs an ambulance. He's sick" Max glanced behind her, and realised that Emma hadn't moved. She stroked Alec's hair back from his forehead, and thought quickly.  
  
"Yes, he is sick. He's been sick for years" she looked up at Normal. "He's spent a lot of time in hospitals. Too much. he hates them." She lied easily. "He'll be okay. The attacks go away by themselves. Normal, you have no idea how much he hates hospitals. He's." Max bit her lip, looking down. "He's scared of them." If the matter hadn't been so serious, she would have laughed, both at what she had said, and the expression on Normal's face as he gripped Alec's shoulder lightly.  
  
"But if he's sick.?" Normal asked uncertainly. "He'll be fine. Really."  
  
Normal looked down at Alec. His poor boy, so scared of hospitals that he would hide an illness this severe from his friends. He nodded. "Tell them it was a false alarm" he told Emma, who turned away.  
  
Max sighed with relief, turning her attention back to Alec as she heard him groan. 


	9. chapter 9

"hey" she whispered, touching the side of his face lightly. He groaned again, his body finally stilling.  
  
"Alec? Buddy?" Normal asked, rubbing his shoulder.  
  
Alec muttered something, and slowly opened his eyes. He blinked several times, trying to focus.  
  
"You're okay" Normal told him. Alec heard his boss's voice and he froze. This was not good. He was not going to be able to talk his way out of this one. "Uh." he muttered, as his mind frantically raced for an excuse.  
  
"Alec" Max spoke softly, trying to get his attention. He turned his head slowly to look at her, frantically asking with his eyes what was going on, and how he could get himself out of it. She nodded to him, touching his face lightly "It's okay" she told him, and he relaxed slightly. She had a plan, he thought. Good.  
  
"Normal" Max looked up. "Can you get some water?"  
  
"Uh, Yeah. Of Course" Normal looked worriedly at Alec, then stood. "Be right back" Alec turned to smile weakly at him, watching him leave. As soon as Normal was out of hearing range, he looked at Max.  
  
"Oh my God, what am I going to do?" he asked her, his voice weak, but scared. Max reached out and took his hand in hers.  
  
"Well, We." she stressed. "We are going to convince Normal that you are okay, then we're going to get you home."  
  
Alec nodded, still looking worried. He tightened his grip on her hand. "Trust me" she told him.  
  
"here" Normal knelt down beside him and offered him a glass of water.  
  
"Thanks" he commented, sitting up slowly. Max moved her arm around his back to help him sit. He took the glass with one hand, still holding onto Max's hand with his other one, and drank slowly.  
  
Normal watched Alec closely, noting the way his hand shook as he lifted the glass. He had never seen him looking any less than in perfect condition, and the way he looked now, was not anywhere near that. "I still think he should go to the hospital" he told Max.  
  
"No!" Alec cried out quickly, his face going pale. If he went to a hospital. God, they would know what he was instantly.  
  
"Hey." Max warned. "Take it easy" she tightened her grip around him, warning him, then turned to glare at Normal. "I said, he'll be fine" she told him. "He just needs to rest."  
  
"You're heavy" Max told him, supporting his weight as they moved slowly towards his apartment. "Sorry" he muttered, and she felt some weight shift off her shoulder as he tried to stand on his own. Max sighed. She had expected, or had hoped for, some sarcastic response. Even when he had been shot, he was able to crack jokes. The fact that he wasn't now, worried her.  
  
"Key?" she asked him as they got to his door. Alec reached into his pocket, and handed it to her. "Thanks" she opened the door, and led him across the room to his bedroom. Alec sank gratefully onto the bed, his eyes closing. "Max?" he asked softly  
  
"Hmm?" she replied, sitting down on the bed beside him, resting her hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Uh, did I." he frowned, shaking his head slightly. "I feel like I did something to you that I should be. Damn it!" he groaned, trying to sit up. Max pushed him back down lightly.  
  
"Take it easy" she told him.  
  
"my head hurts" he commented. "it's so hard to remember, but, did I do something? Are you pissed at me? More than usual, I mean?"  
  
Max laughed, stroking the hair off his forehead. "No" she told him. "Just get some rest, okay?"  
  
Alec closed his eyes. He did not want to be alone. More than anything, he wanted her to stay with him, hold him, or just be there. He didn't mind which. He was frightened, scared that what had been happening to him was going to keep happening, that he was going to keep shaking. God, What if Max hadn't been there? What if Normal had seen his barcode, turned him in? then, they would start looking for others. And they would start with his friends.  
  
"Alec?" Max saw his face pale, his expression change to something she didn't recognise. "What is it?" she asked him, concerned.  
  
He sat up, and pushed her hand off him. slowly, he stood and moved away from her. "I'm endangering all of you" he said quietly. "Its just like Manticore, all over again. I'm endangering everyone. You're going to fail the mission because of me." He could see it so clearly. The woods, the enemy just ahead, the target in sight. Everyone looking to their leader for instructions. 384 was sent out on recon, full stealth mode. He made it four paces before collapsing onto the ground, shaking. The sound alerted the enemy, who engaged them, killing the squad with blanks. Failure. Death.  
  
"There is no mission" Max told him, stepping towards him. "It's not like Manticore."  
  
"There's always a mission. Survival, for one." Alec replied.  
  
"How about making friends, and sticking by them, that's a mission too." She responded.  
  
"Are we friends?" Alec asked, his voice almost a whisper. All of his camouflage dropped from his face. He was too tired to pretend anymore. Max had already seen him at his worst, anyway. Lying on the floor, shaking like a nomaly.  
  
Max stepped closer to him, forcing him to back up against a wall. She moved closer, until they were almost touching. If either of them moved, they would be. Alec stared at her.  
  
"You asked me before, if I was mad at you"  
  
Alec slowly looked at her.  
  
"Before you got sick, I was trying to talk to you, and you walked away from me."  
  
"I don't remember" he told her, trying to think.  
  
"When we were in the woods. We were talking, and then." Max tried to prompt him, but felt unsure as to how to continue. She wasn't sure yet how she felt about kissing him.  
  
Alec's eyes widened slightly as he remembered. "I'm sorry" he told her quickly, trying to move away from her, worried about where she was going with this conversation.  
  
Max sighed. He regretted it. Fine. She had her answer. She stepped back to allow him to move away from the wall.  
  
"Get some sleep, Alec." She told him, crossing to the door. "If you need anything, I'll be in the other room."  
  
Alec watched her leave, then threw himself onto the bed. Great. Just great. Today just kept on getting better and better. He had collapsed at work, Max was angry with him. could anything else go wrong? He sighed. Yeah. It could. Max could tell Logan that he had kissed her, and Logan could beat him up. It could happen. The way he felt right now, Logan could take him. He closed his eyes.  
  
  
  
Max walked slowly into Jam Pony the following morning. Although she didn't need much sleep, getting none was starting to wear on her. But, she needed to know what was going on. What Normal and Emma were telling people. Whether she had anything else, apart from Alec being sick, to worry about.  
  
"Max" Normal moved in front of her, preventing her from going anywhere. "Alec, how is he? Is he okay?"  
  
"Sure. He's doing better." Max told him. "Normal, Alec's illness."  
  
"Say no more, I understand" Normal replied. "He doesn't want it being common knowledge." Max smiled. "Thanks" she gave him a quick hug. Everyone in the room stared. "What?" she asked loudly. "Nothing to see here" "That's right" Normal called out. "Back to work, you ingrates."  
  
Max smiled at him, then crossed the room to join Cindy. "He's okay" she told her, before her friend had time to ask. "Sleeping"  
  
"Did the two o' you talk? 'bout the kiss?"  
  
"He said he was sorry it happened" Max shrugged. 


	10. chapter 10

Rant: Wow, I never realised this story was so far behind what I'd posted at NWP. those 5 days when ff.net was down really makes a difference, huh? Thanks for all the reviews, I love hearing that people are reading this stuff.  
  
  
  
"Max, ya know that aint right" Cindy stared at her friend. "You and Alec, no matter what you two tell yourselves, there' something there."  
  
Max sighed. "It's not that simple."  
  
"You make it 'not that simple'. You kissed him, right?"  
  
"Well." Max stalled, trying to think.  
  
"And he kissed you. So what you scared of, Boo?"  
  
Everything. That was the simple response. Right now, any feelings that existed in her for Alec, if any feelings did, were locked behind a wall deep inside her. If she opened that door, it might never shut again.  
  
"I need to go" she told her friend.  
  
"Uh huh. to see your boy?"  
  
"No. but listen, can you?"  
  
"Run that by me again?"  
  
"I left Alec alone. I needed to make sure that Normal wasn't going to do anything, turn Alec in. And, there's some other stuff I need to do. But, that means he's alone, and if he."  
  
"Gets sick again" Cindy finished her sentence. "No prob, Boo. Consider it done"  
  
  
  
the other squad heard the sound, and turned, raising their guns. 494 threw himself to the ground, diving behind a tree for cover, and coming up firing. His squadmates were out there, several of them out in the open, perfect targets. On the other side, 361 hesitated, seeing 384 lying on the ground, his body shaking like he was cold. Really cold. His hesitation cost him his life, at least in the mission. 494 took him out, then ducked back behind the tree as the opposition attacked. 494's teammates for the most part were caught off guard, rifles down slightly, and they didn't have time to cover and return fire. The whole fire fight lasted about 12 seconds, from 361s fall to the five enemy soldiers that converged on 494, the last of his team, the only one that had managed to get cover. To a man, they all stood and turned to look at 384. he had stopped shaking, and he stood slowly, facing both his squadmates and his opponents.  
  
319, 494s squad leader stepped forward. He reversed his rifle, and slammed the butt into 384s stomach. He fell to the ground. Again, as one, they turned away from him, and walked away.  
  
Alec awoke, gasping for air. He rolled out of bed and went to the window, pushing it open. A freezing wind hit him, causing him to shiver, but he stayed where he was. He wanted to forget. More than anything, he wanted to understand.  
  
When 384 hit the ground, he had turned away with the rest of them, disgusted with his squad-mates weakness. Only now, did he start to feel any remorse for what he had done. Now, because he had been through, was going through, the same thing.   
  
Cindy knocked on the door to Alec's apartment, and waited. She had a key, Max had given it to her, but she understood Alec's need for privacy. She was just about to use the key, when the door opened.  
  
"Hey" Alec greeted her dully. Cindy looked at him closely. He was shivering with cold, and the expression on his face, it was one she didn't like the look of.  
  
"Hey Boo, How ya doin'?"  
  
"Fine" Alec leant in the doorway, clearly not wanting to let her in. "What'd'ya need?"  
  
"Max wanted me ta check on ya, see that ya doin' okay"  
  
Great. Max thought he needed a babysitter now. just fantastic. "I'm fine" he told her, crossing his arms. "I'm kind of in the middle of something though, so, I'll see you at work tomorrow, yeah?"  
  
"'kay, Boo." OC had been watching him closely through their exchange, and could actually pinpoint the exact time his face had drained of all emotion, and had changed into someone that she didn't recognise. For the first time since knowing about Max and the rest of the transgenics, she felt nervous around one of them. She turned and walked away slowly.  
  
Alec shut the door, and leant back against it. He hated this feeling of not being in control, of having others feel the need to look out for him. he should be the one helping them. He moved to the centre of the room, and dropped to the ground, slowly starting to do push ups. This was familiar to him, something that he had done several times a day all his life. While his squad-mates got tired, he never did. A few hundred push ups just didn't affect him. He felt his mind finally start to clear. He reached three hundred, then four, then five hundred.  
  
"On the ground, 494. give me a hundred." "Sir, yes sir!" he dropped to the ground, and began to work his arms. At one hundred, he threw himself back up to his feet, and snapped to attention again, waiting for orders.  
  
"Stand at Ease, soldier" the Colonel stood and moved around the front of his desk. 494 snapped into the new position, his arms hard down behind his back.  
  
"Report" the Colonel ordered as he leant against the desk and stared at the young boy.  
  
"Sir. B squad was unsuccessful in the mission, Sir."  
  
"I know that, soldier. What disturbs me, is the fact that B squad took only 12 seconds to be unsuccessful. I want to know why."  
  
494 stared straight ahead of him. it did not seem to be a question, not yet anyway.  
  
"Tell me why"  
  
that was an order.  
  
"Sir. 319 was the squad leader, Sir."  
  
The Colonel's fist snapped out, catching 494 in the face. He staggered back, feeling blood run down his face, then caught himself, moving back to attention.  
  
"Cut the shit, soldier. Tell me what happened. Now"  
  
494 felt something behind him, something touch his shoulder. He was at attention, though, and so he didn't move. He stared straight ahead, waiting for orders.  
  
Max touched his shoulder again, trying to get a response from him. OC had rung her, said that something was up, and as usual, OC was right. Alec turned to look at her. More accurately, he looked straight through her, as if she wasn't even there.  
  
"Alec?" she asked. He made no move  
  
"Alec!" she spoke louder, touching his arm. He shook his head slightly, then looked at her. "Max." he smiled, but it looked forced.  
  
"How're you feeling?" she asked him. Slowly moving her hand down his arm, she took his hand in hers, tentatively. Alec bit his lip, and shrugged.  
  
"I'm fine, Max" he told her, smiling again, more believably this time.  
  
"Want to talk about it?" she asked him, squeezing his hand lightly.  
  
"Not really" he told her, trying to move away from her. Max tightened her grip on his hand, not letting him go.  
  
"Max, can you just leave me alone?"  
  
"No. there are two options here. One, you're not fine, and you go lie down and rest. and I stay here to make sure you do. Or Two, you are fine, and we have things to talk about."  
  
"Which will make you go away faster?" he asked. He didn't want to be around anyone just then. He needed to think, try to figure out some stuff. He couldn't do that around other people. Especially not Max, she just added to the complications.  
  
"Probably the latter" she told him.  
  
"So, talk" Alec sighed, moving to the couch and sitting down. Max moved over to join him, purposely sitting close to him, her leg touching his.  
  
This was one conversation she did not want to have. Any answer he gave would just lead to more questions. And once he gave her an answer, she would have to start asking herself some questions. Like, how the hell did she really feel about the kiss. 


	11. chapter 11

"You're not talking" Alec commented after a few minutes. "You know, I think I'm gonna take the other option, go lie down. I'm kinda tired" he went to stand up, and Max shoved him back down onto the couch.  
  
"We are going to have this conversation." She told him.  
  
Alec looked at her, trying to figure the easiest way out of this mess. "I'm sorry" he repeated, the words catching in his throat.  
  
Max saw him hesitate. She stepped back, and turned away from him, staring at a wall. "I started telling you this, and I'm going to finish it. Whether I have to hold you down to do it" she turned back to face him, her expression determined.  
  
Alec watched her with interest.  
  
"When I got sick at Manticore, it was in front of a guard. Zach, he went for the gun, to protect me. He grabbed it, and levelled it at the guy, and he gave us a choice. Leave, or stay? I didn't know what to do, it was the hardest decision I had ever had to make. Stay with what was safe, or go with something new and exciting. I chose to leave."  
  
"I noticed" Alec commented, grinning widely.  
  
She held his gaze, her eyes boring into his, until the grin dropped from his face.  
  
"When we jumped the fence, escaped, it was the most incredible feeling. Nothing has ever felt like that since. Taking a chance, having everything uncertain, but full of potential, I knew that I had made the correct decision."  
  
Alec leaned forward slightly, listening intently to what she had to say. His breath quickened, as he felt the excitement in her voice.  
  
"Since then, I've always chosen to be safe. Stayed in a bad foster home because it was easier than escaping, staying in Seattle when the correct thing to do would be to keep moving."  
  
Staying with Logan. The words darted into his mind, and he bit his lip to prevent himself from saying them out loud.  
  
Max laughed.  
  
"Huh?" he asked her.  
  
"Your face is so easy to read sometimes" she told him. Alec grinned, and looked away.  
  
"So, you were being boring? Uhh, safe." He corrected himself.  
  
"Alec, in the woods" He stood, the smile dropping from his face.  
  
"What was that for you?" she asked.  
  
Alec looked at the ground, then slowly met her gaze again. Finally, he shrugged.  
  
Max stepped towards him, touching his arm.  
  
"What do you want from me?" he asked.  
  
Max closed the gap between them. Reaching her hand behind his neck, she pulled his head down towards hers. Slowly, her lips touched his. Alec gasped, and moved to pull away, but Max pressed lightly on his neck, holding him in place. She moved her head back slightly, and waited. Alec's eyes met hers, a flood of emotions running through them. Fear, hesitation, shock, excitement. She kissed him again, and this time he didn't pull back. Max ran her tongue against his mouth, requesting entrance, and he deepened the kiss, moaning softly as he felt her tongue enter his mouth. Max pressed her body against his, moving slowly, giving him every chance to back off.  
  
Alec had no intention of doing that. His arms moved around Max, pulling her hard against him, his mouth pressing harder against hers. He heard her groan, and felt her slip her other hand to the small of his back, pressing him against her. Alec pulled back and looked down at her.  
  
"You okay?" she asked him.  
  
Alec bit his lip, then kissed her again. Passion seared between them, and the kiss became more frantic, more intense, like it had been in the woods. Max pushed him backwards, and he fell onto the couch, taking her with him. Alec moaned, moving into a comfortable position, and wrapping his arms around Max's waist, he shifted her so that she was lying completely on top of him. Her hand moved to his chest, roughly moving over him, feeling the firm muscles. She felt his breath quicken, his kiss become more urgent. Max grinned, moving her hand away from him. Alec groaned, and moved his hand up to her arm, wanting to hold her hand in place. She laughed at him, and brushed his hand away. "Max" he protested, frustrated. She grinned against his mouth, slipping her hand under his shirt, and touching his bare stomach. Alec lifted his hips, his hands moving over her back, pulling her harder against him.  
  
Her hand moved higher up his chest, running over his bunched muscles, feeling the firmness of his chest.  
  
"Max" she heard his voice go serious, and she pulled back. "We shouldn't be doing this." he told her, even as his hands held her to him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Logan." He commented. Max stiffened, and sat up. "Yeah" she said, moving off him.  
  
"Max, wait" Alec followed her, grabbing her around the waist and turning her back around to look at him. "I cant do that to him, or to you"  
  
"I was fine with it" she told him  
  
Alec shook his head. "Until you saw him again, and then you'd regret everything."  
  
"No" she told him, but her voice didn't sound sincere.  
  
"I'm not sure I'm ready either." He told her, kissing her again lightly.  
  



End file.
